1
00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:03,960
Fancy seeing you here.
What are the chances?

2
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:10,960
What have the doctors said?
Cancer. Months, not years.

3
00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:12,960
I wanna do one last job
with you before I die.

4
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,960
From Bert?
We keep her at a distance.

5
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:19,160
If your daughter rocks up,
what are you gonna offer her?

6
00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,960
Half a dozen eggs
or the chance to be set for life?

7
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,320
You'll be clearing seven figures.

8
00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:25,960
You gonna do it?
As long as I call the shots.

9
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:29,960
We are gonna steal
the Face of the Great Masturbator.

10
00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:42,960
'Symphony No. 9'
by Beethoven

11
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:34,960
May peace be with you.

12
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:37,960
May peace be with you.
May peace be with you.

13
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:44,960
May peace be with you.

14
00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:47,960
May peace be with you.

15
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:49,160
May peace be with you.

16
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:53,960
May peace be with you.

17
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:56,640
May peace be with you.
May peace be with you.

18
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:00,960
May peace be with you.

19
00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,480
The body of Christ.

20
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,960
The body of Christ.
Amen.

21
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:03,960
The body of Christ.

22
00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:15,960
The body of Christ.

23
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:41,960
You OK?

24
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:06,000
Is she sniffing his bollocks?

25
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:11,960
That's the thing about great art.

26
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,960
You see something different
every time you look at it.

27
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:17,000
What's it about, then?

28
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:21,960
So, Dali was obsessed
with this Russian woman, Gala,

29
00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:24,960
who he would eventually marry,
but at the time this was painted,

30
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,960
she was married
to the poet Paul Eluard.

31
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:29,960
Now, Eluard jibs off back
to Paris on his own -

32
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:34,000
some would say a foolhardy decision
on the account of the high chance

33
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,960
that Dali was gonna knob his missus
if left unattended.

34
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,960
Anyway, he did, and in the process,
this was painted.

35
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:43,960
There's all this guff about his
contradictory feelings towards sex,

36
00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,960
but I think he saw a woman
having a wank and thought,

37
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,960
"Oi, oi, where's my paintbrush?"

38
00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:52,960
Wow. You really have learned
all there is to know about art.

39
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,960
So, up your jumper
and down the stairs?

40
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,960
Well, we'll come to that.

41
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:00,960
First of all - my stroke of genius.

42
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,960
We're gonna execute a swap.

43
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:05,960
We're gonna get that off the wall

44
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:07,960
and replace it with a copy
that's so perfect,

45
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,960
not even the greatest art experts
would know it was a fake.

46
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:12,160
Go on.

47
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,960
I've made contact
with the world's greatest forger.

48
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:18,960
And how does one qualify
as the world's greatest forger?

49
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:20,960
If I could name all
of his forgeries,

50
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:22,960
he wouldn't be a very good forger,
would he?

51
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,960
Reputedly a boy genius.

52
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,960
The beauty of all of this
is if we can pull this off,

53
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:31,960
no-one need know
that a crime was even committed.

54
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,960
How do we get it out?

55
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,480
The finer details
are so tedious.

56
00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,800
That's why I need you to help me.

57
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:42,640
Four cameras in each room.
Minimum of two security guards.

58
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:45,480
The Masturbator has a camera
trained on it 24/7.

59
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,960
Post-modern. Dali would love that.

60
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,960
She also sits next door
to the Guernica,

61
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:52,480
Spain's most famous painting.

62
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:56,960
So, scrutiny in this part
of the gallery is rather high.

63
00:05:56,960 --> 00:06:00,000
Obviously, we do it all after hours.
No punters.

64
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,160
We'll have to swap the security feed

65
00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,800
so no-one can see us going
about our business.

66
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,000
To do that,
we'll need a foolproof distraction.

67
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,960
What, like give them
the old one-two?

68
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:13,960
It's 2025 - I'm not sure
that still works.

69
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,960
Come on. Tits is tits.

70
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:20,960
All right, so we employ
a little more sophistication.

71
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:21,960
Anyone in mind?

72
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,480
Miss Take.

73
00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:30,960
Look, she can pull the attention of
the guards while we swap the feed.

74
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,960
Bert, I know you're sick
and you think this is a good idea...

75
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:37,960
..but we need someone we can trust,
and she doesn't trust us.

76
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:39,640
Therefore, we can't trust her.

77
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,960
I think she would use this
to get back at us for leaving her.

78
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:44,960
She's got a very long memory.
I'm sorry - no Miss Take.

79
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:49,640
OK, no Miss Take. But we still need
to put a team together.

80
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:50,960
We bring people in, we lose control.

81
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:52,960
Or we don't bring people in
and we fuck up.

82
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,960
No, we need a team.
And we need them in close proximity.

83
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:58,320
We need to do this right.

84
00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,960
I told you,
I need to make the decisions.

85
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,960
I want this whole thing
on a tight lead.

86
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:04,960
No, you want ME on a tight lead.

87
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,960
Yeah, with a muzzle on it.
Which would be nice.

88
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:11,960
The fake - go on.

89
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,160
So, we break in at night,

90
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,960
and then we go up to the gallery
with the fake.

91
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,320
And we wait for our perfect moment.
What?

92
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:22,000
Sneak past all the guards
in our invisibility cloaks

93
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,960
Well, I know a woman
who can help with that.

94
00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:33,960
Jackie Diamond?

95
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:35,960
So, Jackie helps us
get in undetected?

96
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:40,000
Yeah. She'll disable the lasers and
help get the painting off the wall.

97
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,960
The alarm is triggered
by a change of weight.

98
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,960
So it needs to be deactivated?
Or we counterbalance the painting.

99
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,960
That's much trickier.

100
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:51,320
Which is why we need
Jackie's expertise.

101
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,320
She's been doing these tricks
for 30 years.

102
00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:55,960
And then if we can pull that off,

103
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:59,960
we take the real painting
to the gift shop,

104
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:01,000
marked for collection.

105
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,960
Hola. La collection?

106
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:09,960
'The next day, they unwittingly
hand over the real Masturbator.'

107
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,640
And we just walk out of here?
Yep.

108
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,480
With a ten-million-euro painting
under our arm

109
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:37,480
that no-one even knows
has been stolen.

110
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:38,960
It's gonna be a lot of work.

111
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,480
We're gonna need a Plan A,
and, if we've learnt anything,

112
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,960
we need a Plan B and a Plan C.

113
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:46,480
Yeah, and just in case - Plan D.

114
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:48,960
What?
You're off your rocker.

115
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,320
Yeah, but you love it, though,
don't you?

116
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,960
What's not to love?

117
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,960
If we bring anyone in,
they're gonna need paying.

118
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:55,640
Have you got any funds?

119
00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:57,960
I had a matador costume
that was worth 200 grand,

120
00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:58,960
but someone decided to return it.

121
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,960
And the forger needs paying
before he starts work,

122
00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:04,640
so got any bright ideas
how we can make some quick money?

123
00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:48,960
Do you know anyone else?

124
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:52,480
He was it, and he was a long shot.
You haven't got any other contacts?

125
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,960
No, I told you, I don't know anyone.
That's not how I live any more.

126
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:57,320
I'm just struggling to believe

127
00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:59,960
that you woke up every day
for the last ten years

128
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:02,960
with infinite possibilities
stretched out in front of you,

129
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,960
and you thought, "What am I gonna do
with all my lovely time

130
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:05,960
"and all my lovely freedom?

131
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:07,960
"I know, I'm gonna go
and feed the pigs."

132
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:13,960
Before I went inside, you were
hell-bent on finding Caitlin.

133
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:15,320
Don't.
What?

134
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:16,480
Say her name.

135
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:21,960
Well, did you get anywhere?
No.

136
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,960
Sorry.
Don't be.

137
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:26,960
How hard can it be
to track her down, though?

138
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,960
What is this, Bert? Mastermind?

139
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,960
Specialist subject, the daughter
I gave up for adoption at birth?

140
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:33,960
If it is your specialist subject,
you're not very good at it.

141
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:36,320
It wasn't a legal adoption,
it was through the Church.

142
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:37,960
You know that.
Yeah, I know.

143
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:39,960
I've contacted them,
but there's no way of finding her,

144
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:40,960
because there's no record.

145
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,960
So I've left letters,
so if she wanted to find me,

146
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,160
she would know how,
but it has to be her decision.

147
00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,160
So do a DNA test.

148
00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,960
Cos then if you're in the system
and she does one,

149
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,640
you get a notification - boom.

150
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,960
Put my fingerprint into a database?

151
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,960
More chance of the police turning up
at my door than my daughter.

152
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,320
Well, what if she does rock up?

153
00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,960
What's she gonna think about you
living like Goat Peter

154
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,320
on the side of a mountain?

155
00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:09,960
Maybe I could help you.
No. Under no circumstances.

156
00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:11,960
OK.

157
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:15,960
What about Miss Take?

158
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:18,960
It's a no for the job, but she can
sell the jewellery for us.

159
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,960
No! Bert, I know
she means a lot to you,

160
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:23,160
but there's a reason
why we left her.

161
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,960
She played mummy when it suited her,
but she's a user. Fine!

162
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:29,960
What? I've just said I'm not going,
so I'm not going.

163
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,960
Still got to sell those, though.
And we're agreed on Jackie, right?

164
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:37,960
OK. Let's get her on the hook.

165
00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,960
Always said your vagina
could light up a room.

166
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:04,960
I got your letter.

167
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,480
Whatever you're planning,
I'm not interested.

168
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:12,960
How much?
Fuck-off money.

169
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:16,960
Well, that depends on how much value
one puts on fucking off.

170
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:18,960
Everyone's got a price.
What's yours?

171
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:20,800
That's not how it works.

172
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,960
You come to me with a price
if you want my services,

173
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,160
and then we talk.

174
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,960
We need to run the numbers.

175
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,960
Well, maybe get your ducks in a row
before you make an approach.

176
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,160
That's not a no.
But this is - no.

177
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:32,320
Why?

178
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,960
I'm settled. I'm happy.

179
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:41,960
And it's too risky.
It always is with you two.

180
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:44,960
And ten years without a peep
from either of you

181
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:46,640
has been very peaceful - thank you.

182
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:47,960
You'd be behind the scenes.

183
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,960
If anything happens,
it won't come back on you.

184
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:54,480
OK. It's good seeing you.
Stay lucky.

185
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:56,960
500,000.

186
00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:00,160
It's a ballpark figure,

187
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,960
but I guess we'll have to get some
other magician to build our rig.

188
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:06,320
Bullshit.

189
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,960
It's still a no!

190
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,960
What do you think our chances are?
She'll buckle.

191
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:17,960
I saw the euro signs in her eyes.

192
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:20,960
Why didn't you tell her
you have cancer?

193
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,960
I mean, it might have helped.
Act mercenary? No.

194
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:27,960
I don't want everyone to know.
Well, people are gonna find out.

195
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,960
I'm feeling stronger now I'm out.
It's easier to manage.

196
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,960
Tiredness comes and goes, and...

197
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:36,960
if it comes,
then I'll just make myself scarce.

198
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:39,960
It doesn't make you look weak,
admitting to it.

199
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:41,960
I think we both know that it does.

200
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:43,960
Look, I'll make you a deal.

201
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:45,960
If it gets too much,
I'll let you know,

202
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:47,960
but for now, let me just live
each day as it comes.

203
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:56,480
Crown jewels. Forger's landed.

204
00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:58,960
First, we've got an appointment.
With who?

205
00:13:58,960 --> 00:13:59,960
The buyer.

206
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:07,960
Hello.

207
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:16,960
Erm...

208
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:20,960
Sorry.

209
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:26,960
Ooh! My knockers. Calm my nerves.

210
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,640
Sorry.

211
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:36,960
Got it.

212
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,160
Yeah, I don't know,
I just feel like...

213
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:44,480
I feel like
I've noticed a difference.

214
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:47,960
I'm having 150g of protein a day.

215
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:52,960
I set an alarm, 3am - have two chops
on a plate on my night stand.

216
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,960
My muscle gains have been...
off the hook.

217
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,960
I thought you were here
to watch and learn?

218
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,960
I am! I am watching...

219
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,960
I am watching...

220
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,000
"Watch" being the operative word.

221
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,960
Look who's at the front
of the queue.

222
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,320
You're joking, aren't you?

223
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,960
'Deegs?' You'll never guess
who's legged it to Spain.

224
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:17,000
'Go on.'

225
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,960
Bilal, that gambler
who owes us a hundred grand.

226
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,640
Little bastard.

227
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,640
Where's he gone?
Fuck knows.

228
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:57,960
You are here to meet Celine?
Yeah.

229
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,160
This can't be right.
Who is this buyer?

230
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:06,000
She's a feminist art collector

231
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,320
willing to spend millions
on a private collection.

232
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:09,960
Apparently, she collects pieces

233
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:12,800
where the muse has been exploited
by the artist.

234
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,960
This place is hardly screaming
"high art", is it?

235
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,160
Gracias.
Gracias.

236
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,640
Where the fuck are we, Bert?

237
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:48,960
Do your kids like parrots?

238
00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:21,960
Please, sit.

239
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:31,960
That's designer.
It's not meant for arse-parking.

240
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:33,960
OK...

241
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:46,960
So... why you?

242
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,960
Why don't I just wait
for Isabella to leave prison?

243
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:51,960
Isabella's got years to serve.

244
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,960
I can get you that painting
six weeks, tops.

245
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:57,800
And Isabella wants 15 million.
I want ten.

246
00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:59,640
Yeah, but I don't know you.

247
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,960
I certainly don't know you.
She's my partner.

248
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,960
I trust her, and it's me
that's taking all the risk.

249
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,960
We have a plan, and no-one will
even know there's been a crime.

250
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:12,960
But for that, we need to know
that the job is ours.

251
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,160
Ten million's a lot of money.

252
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,960
Stealing a painting's a lot of work.
And risk.

253
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,960
But if we don't have you
the painting in six weeks,

254
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:21,160
you can go back to Isabella.

255
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:22,960
But this way, you have no risk,

256
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:25,000
little outlay and the painting
you've always wanted

257
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,960
for two-thirds of the price
you were willing to pay.

258
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:29,960
And if you were in any doubt
of our capabilities...

259
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,960
You nicked the Crown of Thorns?

260
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,640
Yeah, right from
under everyone's noses.

261
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:40,960
It's a little gift,

262
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,960
just to show you everything
you've heard about me is true.

263
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:44,960
Yeah, well done.

264
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,960
Now every man and his dog from here
to Tarifa's looking for it.

265
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:52,960
Not if it just sits
in your private collection.

266
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,160
What, this thing?

267
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:59,960
Look at it. It's an eyesore.

268
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:01,960
Well, the gold itself is worth
a small fortune... Hang on.

269
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:03,960
Let me get my smelting kit out.

270
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,960
Turn it into sovereign rings,
shall I?

271
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:07,960
Boys down the market will be happy.

272
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,160
OK, we'll get rid of it.
No.

273
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,960
Let's see how you work
under instruction...

274
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:16,960
..and real pressure.

275
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,960
Then I'll decide if the job
is yours. You put it back.

276
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,960
Today.

277
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,800
The cathedral isn't open
to the public.

278
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,480
Exactly.

279
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:29,960
It's a perfect little spot

280
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,640
for you two to show me
what you're capable of

281
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:33,960
before I agree
to you being my supplier.

282
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:37,960
OK? Off you pop.

283
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,960
I want it back there by six.
Raphael?

284
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,960
Introduce them to Nacho.

285
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:48,960
Sharpen the mind.

286
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,960
You made out
like it was a done deal.

287
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:25,960
It wasn't, and now we're on the
back foot, singing for our supper.

288
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:26,960
We'll return it, it's fine.

289
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,960
She knows who we are,
I've pitched her for months.

290
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:29,960
She's just testing us.

291
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,480
Yeah, can I touch on the fact

292
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,960
that you stole a relic
without telling me?

293
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,000
And for what? To show off
to some woman you don't even know!

294
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,960
I stole a relic to remind you
how good I am at this shit.

295
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:40,960
To prove myself to you!

296
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:47,480
Oi!

297
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:48,960
Do you like my new hat?

298
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:49,960
Fuck's sake.

299
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,960
We're gonna need more
than your shit hat.

300
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,960
It's a good job I kept some
of our stuff.

301
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:57,960
Did you?

302
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,960
It's the forger.
Shall we go and welcome the talent?

303
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:06,480
Well, we'd better be quick.

304
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:09,320
Cos if that lunatic says it needs
to be put back today, it's today.

305
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:10,960
I'm not getting strapped to a chair.

306
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,960
Right, I'm gonna hold that,
and then you've got to breathe in.

307
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:23,800
Four, three, four, hold.

308
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:26,960
You have such a pretty nose.

309
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:30,480
That's it, do it one more time.
Right, OK.

310
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:31,960
Last one. Now you breathe in...

311
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,960
There's more to this
than looking pretty, you know.

312
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,960
You need to treat the equipment
with respect.

313
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,960
Put everything away
at the end of each show.

314
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,960
Check the safety on each trick
before each show.

315
00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:58,960
Isn't that what you're here for?

316
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:03,960
He does this, you know.
Gets infatuated.

317
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,960
Then he'll start to pick holes
in you.

318
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,960
And you'll start to feel like
you're not good enough.

319
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:11,960
But by then, he'll have moved on.

320
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,960
The only person who won't
be moving on is you, Jackie.

321
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:18,960
Because you're the kind of person
that lets people pick holes in you.

322
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:20,960
This is just a stepping stone
for me.

323
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:24,160
Don't talk to me like that,
you little madam.

324
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:27,320
You're still gonna be stuck here
in 20 years' time,

325
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:30,480
looking like a two-pound sausage
in a one-pound skin.

326
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,960
You don't know anything about me.
Don't I?

327
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:36,960
Well... I know
when I've touched a nerve.

328
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:27,480
Oi, oi, Bili-boy! Welcome to Espana.

329
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:28,960
Pleased to meet you, Bilal. I'm Sam.

330
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,960
Hiya. Erm...

331
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,160
It's boiling here, in't it?
Cheers...

332
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,960
I'm sweating cobs. Er...

333
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:38,960
So, when do I get my money?

334
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,960
Yeah, shall we show you around first
before we talk turkey?

335
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:57,640
All right for you?

336
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:00,960
Got all your stuff, and your...

337
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:03,960
..beans.

338
00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:15,960
I go through a four-pack a day,
so... Yeah, sure.

339
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:19,640
Well, we'll get you some more.
And Wi-Fi?

340
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:20,960
Need to ring my mum.

341
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,160
Let her know I've got here OK,
she'll be... worrying.

342
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,960
So...

343
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:27,960
Money.

344
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:30,800
Yeah.

345
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:33,960
There you go.

346
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:38,960
Well, this in't what we agreed.
I need a hundred, I've got bills.

347
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:40,160
10K doesn't cover your bills?

348
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:43,960
We agreed a hundred.

349
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:46,960
And I never start painting
until I've got all my money.

350
00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:03,960
Can you sort my wimple?
Thought you'd never ask.

351
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:08,640
Shit. Celine.

352
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,480
Er...
But we're here to meet the...

353
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:40,960
We... We could, er...

354
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:47,960
Of course.

355
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,960
Hiya, Mum!
Take a look at this place.

356
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:37,960
'lovely!

357
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:39,960
'I've got some
of your school friends here.

358
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:41,960
'Prak and Gary.'
Wait, wh...?

359
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:46,960
'All right, Bilal, mush.'
'Lovely gaff, that. Where is it?'

360
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:50,800
Erm... Spain, somewhere.
I don't know.

361
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:53,960
What Are you two doing there?
'We could ask you the same thing.

362
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,960
'Jibbing off to Spain
without inviting us!'

363
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,960
Mum... you don't have
to make these two cups of tea.

364
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:00,960
Why don't you go for a walk
or something?

365
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:02,960
'You can't send your mum out
in t'freezing cold

366
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:04,960
'while you're sunning it up
over there.'

367
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:06,960
'Hey, look at the workmanship
on that.'

368
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,960
'Give that here. It's from Dunelm.'

369
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,960
'I've just thought -
you know who's over near you?'

370
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:16,960
'Tell him.'
'Deegs. You'll have to meet up.'

371
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,960
He...
he don't want bothering with me.

372
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,960
'I reckon he does. That hundred
grand you owe will go a long way.

373
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,320
'He's there to invest in a gym
in the main plaza.

374
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:28,960
'I'll text you the address.
Make sure you see him tomorrow.'

375
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:29,960
Aye, smashing.

376
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,960
'See you!'
'Ta-ra, Bilal.'

377
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,320
Hablas ingles?
Yes, no problem.

378
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,960
We're visiting,
and we'd love to pray.

379
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:56,800
Of course. Please, Sister,
do you prefer a Lady Chapel?

380
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:57,960
She does. Don't you, Sister?

381
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,800
Yes. In fact, she has
a lovely Lady Chapel herself.

382
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:02,640
There are always people
in and out of it.

383
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:04,960
OK. Follow me, please.

384
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:22,160
What is it about the Virgin Mary?

385
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:25,960
Mother of Christ.
Adored by millions, prayed to daily.

386
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:28,960
No, the fact that it's so sacrosanct
to be a mother.

387
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:31,960
I mean,
any fool can knock out a sprog.

388
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:34,960
I didn't mean you.

389
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:36,960
Caitlin would be lucky to have you.

390
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:42,960
Is there anyone you would like me
to hold in my prayers?

391
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,960
Yes, there is a family friend.

392
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,960
She's dying.
I'm sorry.

393
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:53,640
She's worried, and I don't know
what to say to make it better.

394
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:57,960
Our job is not to make it better.
Our job is just to be there.

395
00:28:57,960 --> 00:28:59,960
I find small kindnesses help.

396
00:28:59,960 --> 00:29:02,960
She's being cared for
by her best friend.

397
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:06,800
But I do worry about the burden
that that places on her.

398
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,960
Her friend... at the end.

399
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,960
- Hail Mary, full of grace.
- The Lord is with thee.

400
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:16,960
Blessed art thou among women,

401
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:19,000
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.

402
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,960
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now

403
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,480
and at the hour of our death. Amen.

404
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:26,960
Please, excuse me.

405
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,960
Sister, she gets very emotional.

406
00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:31,960
Father?
Yeah?

407
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:33,960
Would you hear my confession?

408
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,160
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

409
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:40,960
But I have been having
very, very bad thoughts.

410
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:44,960
I've had thoughts
about putting things...

411
00:29:59,960 --> 00:30:02,960
..the wet, wet dreams, Father.

412
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:11,960
Your penance is ten Hail Marys
and, erm...

413
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,960
Mary... Mary be...

414
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:16,960
glory... the glory.

415
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:18,960
Hail Mary.
Bless you, Father.

416
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:40,480
'Madam Butterfly'
by Giacomo Puccini

417
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,960
- You OK?
- Yeah. Yeah.

418
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:05,960
One and done, then?
Yep, but what a one.

419
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,000
Bonjour.
Not a cop, then?

420
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,640
Not a nun, then?

421
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:32,960
Miguel tells me
you handled yourselves with panache.

422
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:34,960
So, do we get the job, then?

423
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:38,960
I'm only as good as my last job,
and if I give it to you,

424
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:40,960
you're in charge of my reputation.

425
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:44,320
So am I gonna stick my neck out
and say yes?

426
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:52,640
OK. You've got the job.

427
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:57,960
Now, don't fuck this up.

428
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,960
What time is it?
Eleven.

429
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:25,960
What? No, no.
I wanted you to get some rest.

430
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:28,960
Here.

431
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:31,960
Ta.

432
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:36,800
What are your wishes, Bert?

433
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:38,960
We need to talk about it.

434
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:41,960
Well, I'll tell you
what I don't want - a wicker coffin.

435
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:43,960
May as well put me
in a waste paper bin.

436
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:50,960
OK. I want a silk-lined coffin
in the heaviest mahogany,

437
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,960
because I want the pallbearers
to buckle at the knees.

438
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:56,000
Of which you will be one, at
the front, first on the call sheet,

439
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,960
wailing and gnashing your teeth.

440
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:03,960
I'm not dead yet.

441
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:08,960
Yeah.

442
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:11,960
Come on. Jackie.

443
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:13,320
No, no.
I'll have another run at her.

444
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:14,960
You put your feet up.

445
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:17,960
I'm also working on a solution
for our money problem.

446
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:19,960
I've found someone
who can break down the jewellery

447
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:21,960
and sell it separately
as gold and diamonds.

448
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:24,960
So we can get all the money
we owe Bilal.

449
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:26,320
Now, get some rest.

450
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,960
Don't move.

451
00:34:59,960 --> 00:35:02,960
If you're a good girl,
Daddy won't shoot.

452
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:07,480
Well, what will Daddy do?

453
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,960
No. You don't get to cuff me
any more.

454
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:50,960
Is it cos of your wanker husband?
You're worth so much more than him.

455
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:54,960
Yeah. You're right.

456
00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:59,960
I'm worth 500,000 euros.

457
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:04,960
And while you're mulling it,
I want 10% up front.

458
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:18,960
How's that for a start?
Worth more than 10%, I reckon.

459
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:21,960
Well...

460
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:23,960
I can't eat it.

461
00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:25,000
But, er...

462
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:28,960
..I'll flog it if I have to.

463
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:29,960
Where do I sign?

464
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:34,480
Whoo!

465
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:36,960
Deegs.

466
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,960
Look who it is,
as I live and breathe. Harder.

467
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:43,960
It's not 100 grand,
but I'll get you the rest tomorrow.

468
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:46,960
And in the meantime...

469
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:50,960
Look. Take this, it's worth a bomb.
I painted it.

470
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:52,960
Big fat naked baby with wings?
You taking t'piss?

471
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,960
Stop fannying about painting
and get me my cash.

472
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:59,960
That's why I'm here, in Spain.
I'm a painter, right?

473
00:36:59,960 --> 00:37:02,960
And these people, they're paying me
enough to pay you back.

474
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:05,320
Who's paying you enough?
Some art people.

475
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:07,960
Would you tell Prak
to leave my mum alone?

476
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:10,960
No-one touches Mummy
if we get our money.

477
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:11,960
Who asked you?

478
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:17,960
I'll get you the money.
Good. Cos if you don't...

479
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:19,960
I'll break your bastard fingers.

480
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:21,960
How are you fixed
for painting with your feet?

481
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,320
Go on, piss off.

482
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:36,960
Well, you've just made
a dying girl very happy.

483
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:42,960
Can you give me a lift somewhere?

484
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:13,960
Get us a pint.

485
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:40,960
So... how are you, Roberta?

486
00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:43,960
Good, yeah. Considering.

487
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:48,960
How are you? You look well.

488
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:52,480
"Fabulous" is the word
I think you're looking for.

489
00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:55,960
Missed you.

490
00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:01,960
Must've been hard in prison.

491
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:05,800
And now you're sick.

492
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:08,800
Cancer?
Yeah.

493
00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:10,960
Started off as a tumour on my liver,
and now it's...

494
00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:13,960
Go on.

495
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:17,960
Sorry, are you a doctor now?

496
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:20,960
Roberta! Are you mad with Mother?

497
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:23,960
Shouldn't Mother be mad with you?

498
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:25,640
Why? Cos I went off to live my life?

499
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:28,960
I took you in
when no-one else wanted to.

500
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:32,960
Yeah, so selfless
Mother Teresa's got fuck-all on you.

501
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:33,960
Shall we stop reminiscing now?

502
00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:35,960
You wanted to talk to me
about something.

503
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:36,960
You mentioned in your letter.

504
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,960
But maybe we save the adult chat
for another time.

505
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:43,960
Just wanna know
if you can shift these.

506
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,960
Sorry you're still having
to make ends meet like this.

507
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:54,960
I've moved on.
But I wish you well, though.

508
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:15,960
Wish me well, do you?
You fucking bitch.

509
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:21,800
Bert!
Mateo.

510
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:24,960
I'm so sorry.

511
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:26,960
Yeah, so am I.

512
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:28,960
That you're stuck with her.

513
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:30,960
What happened?

514
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:32,960
I was about to offer her
the opportunity of a lifetime,

515
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:34,960
but she never changes, so...

516
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:37,000
Bert.

517
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:04,320
I won't be here tonight.

518
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:06,960
Why? Where you going?

519
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,960
I'm leaving, Craig.
Leaving?

520
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:14,960
Leaving me?

521
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:17,160
Yes.

522
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:20,960
You can't leave me, Jackie.

523
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:22,960
I can.

524
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:26,960
What about the show?
Well, the show must go on.

525
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:29,960
Get Komet to help.
What's she gonna do?

526
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:35,960
Everything I do...

527
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:39,960
..I do for us... for you.

528
00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:46,160
And this is how you repay me?

529
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:51,960
Hello?

530
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:54,960
Bilal?

531
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:00,960
Hello?

532
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:18,960
Fuck, yeah!

533
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:19,960
Whoo!

534
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:27,000
Whoo!

535
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:34,160
The diamonds alone
are worth thousands.

536
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:36,960
Just say you'll take a look.

537
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:37,960
Thanks.

538
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:39,960
Bert?

539
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:55,960
Boo.

540
00:43:57,960 --> 00:43:59,320
You scared me.

541
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:01,960
I've been thinking about something.

542
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:05,960
Have you?
You said you'd help me find Caitlin.

543
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:10,320
Yeah, well... if you think
it's a good idea, I could.

544
00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:12,960
Where would you start, though?

545
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:15,960
What do you mean?

546
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:19,960
I mean, where would you, Bert,
go to find out where my daughter is?

547
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:24,960
I don't know.

548
00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:27,000
You don't know where you'd begin
the process of finding her?

549
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,960
Writing to her
to establish a relationship?

550
00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:32,320
You don't know
how you would do that?

551
00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:33,960
I found the letters.

552
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:36,640
I asked if you wanted my help
to find her, and you said no.

553
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:38,960
But you'd already found her,
you fucking psycho!

554
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:42,960
'These Boots Are Made
For Walking' by Nancy Sinatra

555
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:54,960

You got something for me

556
00:44:56,960 --> 00:45:00,960

But confess

557
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:06,640

Where you shouldn't-a been messin'

558
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:12,640

Is getting all your best...

559
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:13,960
Agh, fuck!

560
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:18,960

And that's just what they'll do

561
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:24,960

Are gonna walk all over you...

562
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:39,960

When you ought to be truthin'

563
00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:45,800

When you oughta not bet...

564
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:48,160
If you kill me,
she'll hate you.

565
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:49,960
Take me to her, now.

566
00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:00,960
Did you get my money?

567
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:02,960
What?

568
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:04,960
Agh! Fuck!

569
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:06,160


570
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:09,960


571
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:17,960
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